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The I in Independence
Summer 2006
When Love Attacks
by Blake Cory

The air is deathly still. Light is gently escaping, leaving behind only faint
colors of gray. I hold my breath, patiently listening to the silence all around
me. Something is there. The shadows conceal it like an old friend. It thrives in
this mysterious darkness that even still, pushes out the light. My heart screams
a warning. It moves. Fear constricts around my body, I am a slave to the
unknown. Where do I go? I struggle against the bitter knowledge that there is
no escape. Sweat collects on my palms and burns my eyes. I resist the panic
that begins to hold me hostage.

Time slows and stands still. Memories wash over me. Running in fresh grass,
tagging friends, hugging family, much happiness and sorrow all rush through
my mind. Life is flashing before me. The ground disappears. Air screams past
my ears as I fall, faster and faster. Inside the darkness it moves, preparing to
strike. Powerless, helpless, but now unafraid of the fate I cannot control. I
boldly look into its eyes.

A melody, a soft single note from some forgotten distance appears. I wonder
how I could not have heard it before. I’m falling. Surprise is replaced by a
sweet peace. It reaches down deep within, capturing my soul, delivering me
from the old anguish. Another note appears and together their dance creates
song. The darkness cringes. A glow illuminates from behind me. No. It’s
somewhere inside me. Music radiates outward toward the force assaulting me.

It moves with incredible speed as I continue to fall. Even gravity is in its
control? I slow to a stop. Frozen in the air, these are my final moments of
vulnerability. The music moves around me. The light breathes life into the
darkest depths. I can’t look away from its eyes as the distance between us is
swallowed. I’m overcome by its size. Long claws extend and slice deep into me.
The weight is crushing, I’m going to black out. The floor slams into my body. I
can’t breath. Lungs desperately search for life while spots form in front of my
eyes.

It hurts, and blinds. It is either unseen or all we can see. It’s uncontrollable,
timeless, and beautiful. It creates and destroys. We can’t control it, only choose
to face it. This is what it looks like when love attacks.
To a Sister
By Kristen Mallahan/
korngoddess1027@yahoo.com

You took my heart and lead me down
a path with nothing at the end.
You claimed to care and opened up
But you broke it once again.
You promised you’d be there
you tore out my breathe
You stabbed me
again and again

You ripped out my soul
and you tortured my heart
you caused havoc
more then you know.
And I want to hate you
I want you to feel
the pain that you caused
me and more

You shriveled my soul
and caused me to hate
someone that I
love the most.
Do you even know
what you did to me?
Did it even
cross your mind?

But I just can’t love you
not after you made
a choice so horrible
and bad.
So I’ll store up my love
in a small little box
and just hope that someday
you’ll come back.
Reality
by Final Apostle SHCL /
coastconnected@hotmail.com

It seems so concrete. What we think
is real is real, and what we cannot
comprehend is not. What if I were to
say that reality is constantly
changing, and being created? That
every thought you have is creating
your own reality that no one but
yourself can understand. What if I
told that matter (what physical things
are made of) is nothing but a
thought, that when you are not
looking at a physical object, it is
existing in a whole spectrum of
different dimensions, and is only
defined in your own dimension when
you actually pay attention to it? Is
this too deep? You have no idea.
Life is a rabbit hole. The majority of
people wander around outside of it,
occasionally glancing at it and
suddering at the mystery of its dark
depths. They either do not want to
know what is down there, or they are
scared. I have fallen down this rabbit
hole, and while at first it was an
accident, now I travel freely through
the twisting catacombs of existence,
wanting to know more about where it
leads. The possibilities are endless.
I know how to make this life full of
meaning. I can show you what is
down the rabbit hole. I'll be
Morpheus and you be Neo, I will
awaken within you the power of The
One, I will make you a God that you
never knew you could be. Follow me
into the prophecies and odyssey of
life.
1. This is Patrick Fay, Cory Knowlton, Clay Whiler, and Jerry D’Paoli, members of
the band Mourning Yesterday, now for those that haven’t heard of you, where are
you guys from?

(Fay)Our band is based out of Orlando, but we all travel from different parts of the
state...Patrick lives in Titusville, Cory live in Auburndale, Jerry lives in Tampa, and
Clay lives in Brandon...so we basically live from one side of the Florida coast to the
other..lol

2. You have been doing this for how long? Tell us about your history?

(Fay)We have been a band for almost two years. Clay is the only original member
left today that started the project. Patrick has been the only lead vocalist in the
group, but had to leave the band in the early stages for personal reasons, only to
return stronger than ever. Jerry has been our lead guitarist now for about a year.

3. Was it hard getting started?

(Fay)It was very hard getting started, and to this day, it still is. Our music is just
straight up rock n roll, and the scene around central Florida seems to be more
harder rock, and a little punk rock mix. Sometimes we feel we are out of our
element playing with some other bands, but we are doing what we all love, and that’
s playing out and letting people hear what we can offer.

4. How did you guys come up with the name of the band?

(Fay)The name Mourning Yesterday was actually a mistake. Different names were
being thrown around over phone calls, and I believe Clay miss understood
something else as mourning yesterday...so we basically went along with it, as it has
a very good meaning to us.

5. Now you done one album, if I’m not mistaken, how was that experience?

(Fay)The album making experience was great and terrible at the same time. We
spent a week and Gainesville at a recording studio, and also made it our home. Very
long hours were put into the project with a lot of disagreeing, but that’s what makes
it a good album for us. It was very cool to be able to get out of our town to record,
and to be able to sleep where you work made it so much easier. There was also a
lot of play time too, just to help keep our minds focused and at ease.

6. I also know you guys have done a road show or two, any particular stories you
would like to share?

(Fay)I would say one of our most fun road trips we did involved beer bottles, chairs,
and other hotel items being thrown from the third story floor in our room,
microwaves being slammed on heads, and that’s just from the girlfriends...lol....that
was a great night, but I guess trashing a hotel room goes with any rock band...LOL

7. Any show you will always remember, favorite stop so far?

(Fay) I don’t think we will ever forget the bus trip we took to Tampa to play the
Masquerade. That was one hell of a night, especially since our bus driver fell asleep
driving us home, and we all think he was smoking a little something, something...
LOL...it was definitely scary on the way home, but something we could all laugh at
later

8. Whets next for the band?

(Fay)We are still in the process of getting our album mixed and mastered and
hopefully that will be done soon. Once that is complete, then we will promote it as
much as possible, and start letting the world know who we are, and what we are
about. We just want to bring good old rock music back to life, like it should be.

9. Any last statements?

(Fay)We are still a very young band and have a lot to offer the world, so for the
people that haven’t heard who we are, I promise one day, they will!! We are
dedicating our lives and everything we have to be heard, and we will not stop.

You can log on to www.mourningyesterday.com to learn more about the
band.
Random Thoughts
by MMJoe Sanchez

I’m sitting here wondering where my career is
taking me.
Career, not so much, my life, pretty much.
Wondering if it’s worth it,
Wondering if it’s leading me,
Where, where is the question,
The question that makes me wonder

I’m sitting here wondering where my career will
lead me.
You give yourself so much to strangers
Strangers that you hope will find you interesting
Will help you find you
Strangers that you think deserve to hear
Strangers that don’t know you but you wish they
did

I sit here and wonder why
Why do I do, what I do
Why I say the words that I say
I sit here and wonder if there is anyway
For my random thoughts to be heard
To be felt, to be

I’m sitting here wondering why
Why it is that I care
Why is it that I just cant be, me

An absolute
A nobody
Maybe that’s why I do what I do

Cleansing
by Juliana Davidson / jules_d@iwon.com

Do you know the feeling
of a presence
when you are all alone?
Of Knowledge in a fit
of stupidity?
Of beauty in desperation?
Of faith...
in carnal knowledge?

Spare me your ridicule.
Spare me your lack of rhythm,
your kind cruelty
and sea of
useless knowledge.

Push them aside
to reveal the contents
of your blackened heart.
The anguish of loss.
The fears of truth.
The imprint of a
punishing hand.

Lay these things on the
table before you,
as a sacrament to life.
A cremation of the great
expectations laid upon you
by yourself and others.

Leave the dust behind
for the sake of character.
Leave the scars unmended
for remembrance.
Lay down your armor
for reflection.
And kiss your bitter
thoughts with forgiveness.

Bathe in the enlightenment
of days gone by.
Cleanse in thoughts
of the future.
Live vicariously
because you can.

A Crush Observed
by Tyler Mangascle / tmangascle@allianceprocessing.com

Between the slits,                          About to head.
Lights splits                                    Woozy boy dead,
That which has yet                         Or might as well have become
To get wet with                               From that kiss...
Twitched lips to kiss,                     Though a wish like this
This backyard bet,                          Might miss
Where every filthy wit                    From a boy of a windowsill
Hits                                                   Filled with the chemicals
Like ball to leather mit,                  Of adolescence,
Catch...                                            Where nothing quite fits
Play catch...                                     Just so,
Play this...                                        So he sits,
His wish,                                          Framed within the window
As she sits,                                     Between the slits,
Knitting napkins into quilts.         In a masturbatory foam,
Soaking up the milk                       As the light spits
That was spilt.                                And fingers pick
Neglect that was built                   Lint from clothes
As those blooms
They did wilt
In certain corners of rooms,
Cattycornered mouth corners,
And then a kiss.
Just a kiss that would boom
For back flips,
And after it,
Asterisks and starts would mix
To spin
March 2006 Issue One
Think About This
By Myk Freitag

Recently our president made his annual state of the union address, in it there was
one specific sentence which many seemed to ignore. He stated that we are all
addicted to oil. It’s nice to see, that he’s trying to make a point about our
declining energy resources.

Perhaps because he finally knows that his mid eastern friends aren't going to be
as kind as they have been in the past. For those of you who don't know, Bush has
connections to shady characters in the world of oil, but its all part of the political
song and dance we have come to know and love. Do something awful, cover it up,
repeat?

Now there is a new equation in the mix, the fabled of peak oil. Economists and
various scientists are sitting around giddy charting our impending doom.
Supposedly if what they say is correct, then anywhere between now and 2050 we
will run out of our precious black gold. Which would throw our world into the
Michael Bay style of absolute turmoil?

Obviously without this resource, running cars would be unheard of, but something
that most overlook is the fact that food would become obsolete as well. The only
ones that would survive this are those individuals who forge out to plant and
harvest their own food. If everything goes according to plan then the United
States, possibly even the world would be thrown into a lifestyle much like it was a
hundred years ago. In my opinion that's a little extreme, I don't think we should sit
around mourning our lives just yet, (unless you like doing that kind of thing and
that's just fine by me) but we should not ignore the fact that there is an energy
crisis.

It’s always a good idea to conserve, but the end of the world? People have been
predicting this since the beginning of time. Sorry to break it to you, but we're all
still here. Remember Y2K? Well, that was just something for you to think about.
Interview with Joe Davidson and Craig Kovach  
by Joe Sanchez

1.First of all thank you for joining me, I'm here
talking to Joe Davidson and Craig Kovach, they just
finished working on Unearthed, so did you guys have fun
working on this project?

Davidson: Joe, Unearthed was a plethora of good and bad days but
for the most part I had blast. Craig is a monument of
stone when it comes to focusing on a project. I myself
get distracted easily and …I'm sorry what?

Kovach: We had some shooting days that were a blast.  Crashing a '65 Mustang
through a wall…running down the center of Seventh Avenue in Ybor City
emptying full .44 magnum clips, for example.  The Masquerade shoot with the
Grim Faeries and hundreds of extras was a lot of fun, too.  But mostly the
project was absurdly ambitious for an independent budget, so we had a lot of
really tough, stressful days during production.  Some of our more difficult visual
effect shots were strictly single-take.  When those went as planned, I'd say we
were having fun; when they didn't, not so fun.  And then there has been the
nearly three years of post production...

2. Did you two ever work together before?

Davidson: Yes. I originally met Craig on another shoot titled
Pain; a crime noir feature. We hated each other right
off the bat. He thought I was exceptionally dumb for
one human species and I thought he was too intelligent
for a life force from earth. But after the brain scan
I feel better now.

Kovach: It's true.  Joe and I couldn't stand each other.  We were kind of like
Sam Kennison meets Mr. Spock.  OK, I can admit that as an improv guy, Joe
can be funny, but he never knows when to turn it off.  At the same time, I tend
to be way too serious most of the time.  So Joe and I were this textbook pair of
Myers-Briggs personality stereotypes at opposite ends of the scale.  Anyway, a
few years back several of us were supposed to go together to DragonCon in
Atlanta to film the convention that year.  Somehow I wound up captive for 9
hours in a car with Joe.  We've been friends ever since.  Classic Stockholm
syndrome, I think.

3. How did the story come about?

Davidson: Craig's idea. He has a knack for extraterrestrial
influence within a script. I just read what he wants
me to say and then some how manage to decimate that as
well.

Kovach: There is actually a fair amount of factual back story in Unearthed.  I
was fascinated with the Miami Circle site before it got a lot of media attention
back in '98 and '99.  Most archaeological sites of mystery seem to be located in
exotic places, but the Miami site is an enigma right here in Florida.  I am
actually a geologist by training, not an archaeologist, but I grew up reading UFO
magazines and books like "Chariots of the Gods,' and watching shows like
"Outer Limits" and "Night Stalker."   I suppose the story in Unearthed is a
natural distillation of those kinds of things.

4. You serve as writer, director, while you were the
star and producer, how did this happen?

Davidson: Well, I came into the project as just an actor in the beginning. But
with producing credits to my resume as well Craig thought it might be beneficial
to use me on several levels. And I love producing films. Pulling in resources and
getting people to work together.

Kovach: The character Joe plays -- the smart-ass, sort of "big kid" cop, Jeff
Juransky --  was written specifically for him, so he was always going to be a
major part of the movie.  But when my original co-producer dropped out late in
pre-production, Joe stepped up to the plate and really helped me out.  Joe's a
"can do" guy.  He's not afraid of anything, and he's willing to work really hard.  
Making a movie like this is a tremendous time commitment, and Joe knows
what that takes.  As for writing and directing, writing was the easy part.  You
have time to dedicate to it in pre-production, and rewrites aren't a big deal.  
Directing was a big challenge though, because I was consumed with just trying
to get the shots we needed during production while meeting our insane scope
and schedule.  I was managing a lot of the elements of production, which didn't
leave a lot of room to direct the way I really wanted to -- to really explore the
story with the actors.  But basically, it came about because there were limited
production and human resources available.  You have to wear many hats to
survive budget filmmaking.

5. What was the most difficult scene to shoot?

Davidson: For me, that would be the Skreeb shoot out. It was
something like twenty degrees out and I kept running
back into this small room with a heater like every ten
seconds. Craig was, how would you say... mad at me?
For a while. Seriously, I don't remember any shoot
that was all too difficult, but I'm coming at this
from another angle then the director. I'm sure Craig
has some stories to tell.

Kovach: The skreeb hideout was tough.  Really, just about everything we shot in
the old Westinghouse plant was difficult, because there was no electricity,
running water, bathrooms, etc.  And the place was a hell hole -- dirty and
dangerous.  But the main shooting day in the skreeb hideout was 18 hours in
below freezing weather.  I remember Tom Savini made our line producer go out
and buy him some battery operated hand warmers, it was that cold.  To make
matters worse, it was all action stuff with lots of details to work out on set.  
None of the pyro worked correctly, and one of the principal characters in the
scene wasn't able to fire a specially designed alien weapon for the scene.  Oh
yeah, and it was four stories up...

6. You filmed it in the Tampa bay area; did you have a difficult time filming it
there?

Davidson: Locally? No. The film commissioner was on our side the
whole time. Edie Emelder was her name. She help us a
bunch. There were some areas that were difficult to
get along with. Local business and such. They see that
you're making a movie and assume that you have huge
Hollywood budget and throw them a couple hundred grand
to use their parking lot. Others where extremely
welcoming and let us things for next to, if not for
nothing.

Kovach: Yeah, I'd say for the most part, people and businesses were very
accommodating.  I don't think we could have possibly done this anywhere else
without a huge budget.  We really received a lot of help and support from the
business community, the Tampa Police Department, USF, and a LOT of other
organizations and people.  It definitely helps being a native and lifetime
resident of the area.  You build up a lot of resources and contacts.  Tampa is a
great place to film if you have an established network.  But without that, it's not
a particularly easy place to shoot for independents due to permitting and
insurance restrictions, not to mention the fact that it's tough to find low/no pay
crew…not to mention experienced.  Unearthed was a permitted, insured shoot,
but most independents are having to shoot guerilla in the Bay area from what
I've seen.

7. Do you believe the indie scene is very much alive
in Central Florida?

Davidson: That depends on several levels by what you mean. Yes,
there is an indie scene in Central Florida. Is it
alive? Let's just say it's on life support. You can't
judge the indie film market in this area based on the relentless debauchery that
is spewed out at various independent film festivals. There are independent films
then there are slock T and A shorts. Can't compare the two.

Kovach: I guess I would agree with that.  There is desire and momentum, but
the indie scene doesn't seemed to have gelled very well in Tampa.  I do believe
it has a future if it can find its wings.  I think that the University of Tampa is
missing a huge opportunity by not starting a film school down here.   It's the
perfect place with the right atmosphere.

8. Are you thinking Sundance?

Davidson: More like sun bathing, my tan lines are showing again.

Kovach: Somehow I don't think Unearthed is Sundance fare.  Robert Redford
wouldn't get it.

9. What are you currently working on?

Davidson: Two films. One is a horror comedy written and directed
by Marcus Koch and the other is horror comedy written
and directed by myself with Craig producing both.
Funding is underway.

Kovach: And finalizing post on Unearthed and marketing and promoting...

10. Any words of advice to up and coming filmmakers
such as myself and what about you, any advice to
struggling actors?

Kovach: Be realistic about what you can really accomplish with your projects
limitations, financial budget, and available human resources.  Plan your project
with exhausting detail ahead of your shooting schedule.  Make anything that is
commercially viable that is not a zombie movie.  And never, NEVER, let anyone
tell you that you can "fix it in post."

Davidson: Focus and your resources. Use who and what you know
and keep is it simple. As a writer I tend to write
what I know and like, keeping in mind what resources I
have to work with. Always know your resources. Be it
friends, family, or a local restaurant owner. You
never know what you might need.
ONE
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